you may begin fresh and anew."
A place for my thoughts, opinions, stories and my journey through life. Oh, and my Tarot & Oracle Decks, of course.
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Card of the Day. Existential mumbo jumbo. Will you take the box off your head?
Deck: Joie De Vivre by Paulina Cassidy.
Card: 4 of Cups.
Luna's Keywords: Apathy, indifference to what's around you, emptiness and a feeling of tenseness. Stuck in place. Not being able to connect to outside or even inside forces. Feeling melancholy. Disconnection. Longing.
At least, that's what you think.
I imagine being in a bubble, or a box in this case, a crystal clear glass box. You're inside it and it constantly moves along with you but the thing is, you always know its there. You push against it as you stare at a friend or loved one in front of you, [they're smiling at you] you can feel the glass, you can feel the obstruction, you know you can't fully feel what's going on around you. You can't feel what's happening outside.
It's like with feelings, is what I'm trying to say, everyone is constantly moving, constantly feeling, and you're just... Here. You're just existing and the thing is, it makes you think more clearly, it makes you think more deeply, more logically.
People come to you for advice, people come to you for help, people come to you for you to listen.
Now people who knew how you really felt, wouldn't, because a person like you, someone cold, logical and unfeeling, you wouldn't understand, now would you? You'd just be frank, honest, give them the cold hard truth, because that's all you know. That's what they think though.
There's a tingle inside your chest, a twitch of a frown in your cheeks and you can't help but reach out, pressing your hands against that clear glass wall, making it hard for you to reach out and give them person a hug, to truly connect with them emotionally, but it's hard, something is blocking you and you can't move it, you don't know how. So you do the next best thing, you speak, they can hear you, right? Right.... You speak and you tell them how it is, but you try your damnedest to be gentle, you try your best to think up solutions, to think up how to fix the situation, to think up how to make them feel better, but most of all, you think up the best ways to both heal them from the inside and help them improve and better themselves, to make them feel better and learn from what hurt them.
You may feel apathy, you may feel indifference, you may even feel like you're separated from the outside world, but you're in a fine line, you feel others, you feel pain for them, you feel compassion, but you can't even let yourself feel your own feelings deeply, you keep it above ground, above the water.
Everyday stuff passes you by, everyday feelings, you just take life as it comes, day to day, hour to hour. Everyone is moving in hyper speed, while it feels like you're walking and moving in slow motion, your eyes straining to catch up as they all move so fast. You're lagging behind.
Alright! Enough existential, psychological mumbo jumbo!
Onto my final hurrah, the card itself.
I was thinking up this topic just a few hours ago when I first sat down to write, I was thinking of existential crap, apathy and indifference, but also the feeling of wanting to help others, even if you cannot help yourself. I began to look at some of the 4 of Cups images on Google, then in a sudden burst of inspiration, I remembered I had the Joie De Vivre Tarot! I was looking through it the other day and then BAM! It hit me, the best image, the best card from a deck I could pull up and use was exactly that. The Four of Cups from the Joie De Vivre Tarot.
Just look at it, [I will call the main focus of the card, the cat-like creature, Cat.] Everyone around Cat is happy, celebrating, being carefree and merry, but he is looking at his reflection, or the pond, which could signify his emotions, his pent up feelings, he wants to reconnect with those feelings, to immerse himself in it, but he's on dry land, grounded, safe, logical. Cat looks scared, uncertain, so morose and melancholy.
Inside the water, can you just imagine it? You're surrounded by friends, they're having fun, they're having a dang good fun in their party and you're just... there, staring at your reflection... Maybe if you took a dip in, splash around, have fun! The others would join in and... Can you just feel the laughter in the air, the cool water on your skin, the smiles straining your cheeks and having the light, cheerful air around you? Wouldn't it be amazing?
But you keep those thoughts away, you cover your head, your heart, your ears, muffling them out, keeping the thoughts quiet with your big box around your head. While others are having fun around you, living their life, you stick to your box, you chose to keep it out.
Will you continue to look towards a solution, but never reaching out? Will you continue to tune out your life, or will you finally take that stupid box off your head?
Will you finally feel a deeper feeling now?
With love, hope and positivity
- Luna
Dang! I had such a great time writing this, it just kept flowing out!
Cards of the Day. Internal Stalemate. Sword Suit, Where are you?!
Cards: Seven of Cups, Five of Wands.
Luna's Keywords: Passions at an impasse, indecisive by too much choices, too much to handle, too many choices to think of, Analysis Paralysis, internal battle caused by said Analysis Paralysis, Ideas fighting over one another thus causing a stalemate.
Hmm, my new format.
To be honest, I had these cards stored up in my drafts folder for the past few weeks, just waiting to be used. I drew these cards one day early on this month, I was really inspired and happy to see these cards pop up, however I could not find it in my heart to write anything down, as is the story of my existence. So, I ended up saving this, along with other cards I got or that I found very inspiring, inside my drafts folders for when I could find the energy, opportunity or the proper mood to write things out for them.
These two cards explain those certain, exact situations perfectly. Per-Fect-Ly. I am not kidding.
First comes the innocuous perusal of all these themes, topics, feelings and opinions you have:
"Which topic should I use today?"
"What can I talk about in my life that I can co-relate to this particular card?"
"What card can further portray what I am trying to say in my topic?"
"What theme should I use and show off today?"
"What kind of post can I do today?"
"What are my opinions and feelings concerning this topic and how can I best describe it to the best of my abilities without me wanting to pull my hair out?"
"WHY WON'T YOU WORK WITH ME, STUPID BRAIN AND BODY?!?!"
These are the questions I have to ask myself as I sit at my desk or on my bed, staring at a blank screen, either without scans of the cards or with pictures of the cards already on it, and thinking to myself, scanning and thinking deeply about the cards.
Sometimes, when the mood fits, I can write it out in a frenzy, like how I currently am doing at the moment, other times? I can't.
Like the last time I sent this particular set of cards deep within my drafts folder, I could not, for the life of me, sit down and finish writing, I couldn't even start on the first damn sentence!
I have too much to choose from but little motivation or passion or even because my body makes it hard for me to write anything, with mental blocks that I can actually, literally and can feel throbbing in a constant, dull thud on the forefront of my skull. Because of having too many options and too many questions, it makes me come to a stalemate with myself, an impasse, a dead-end.
Now for the Five of Wands, basically, it's the same thing as the Seven of Cups, but unlike the Cups Card, [which, in my opinion, is more of a passive card for me in this reading.] The Wands Card is very aggressive, very active, very energetic. Too energetic.
I have the same situation, too many ideas, too many questions, too many topics and cards to choose from to start writing, causing me take a step back and think. But instead of just simply abandoning the cards without much of a fight, knowing I can just get back to it at a later date, the energies of the Five of Wands makes it hard to let go. I go into an internal battle of "WRITE! I can't... WRITE DAMN IT! I don't wanna.... WRITE SOMETHING!" and it goes on and on and on...
Now I'm not obsessive, I really am not, but sometimes, it stays stuck in your head and sometimes I can't help but go back again and again to my site and just wanting, yearning and wishing for some energy and inspiration to write something meaningful. It's always an internal battle whenever I look at all the things I've written and going through my drafts folder. It makes my heart ache to know I could write something as I've written before but I can't because of some sort of mental block. [Where are the damn Sword cards when you need 'em?!]
I have the ideas, I have the passion for it, I even have the subject matter outlined inside my head, but sometimes, it's hard to write it down. I'm paralyzed by indecision.
I need to get my shit together, man.
Does anyone go through that as well?
With love, hope and positivity
With love, hope and positivity
- Luna.
Friday, May 22, 2015
Random Update: Something new?
I think it's time to revamp my blog. [in terms of my writing style, that is.] I don't know, after my on and off, no regular schedule or rhythm to my posting, I feel like it's been really tense? Maybe my writing style and how I write out my post seems kind of too "tight and traditional" and not very engaging to people. I know, I know, I've said it before that I like my writing style, I really do, but I want it to engage people, to make it fun and interesting for them to read, I want to be able to connect with others through my writing.
I'm not exactly changing my writing style... Just, fixing it up. I'm mostly abolishing my "uptight" kind of series and titles for my posts. I feel like I don't exactly give it a right title, and that I'm just mixing things up. From now on I'll try better to make the whole post title thing less confusing and more on point and relatable for the topic or post itself.
I actually had this revelation when perusing on accident when I was looking through another fellow Tarot Bloggers site, J.J Tarot*, I believe, her account and blog was on Wordpress, whilst mine is on Blogger. I really love her blog and what I've seen of it, simple, fun and one word I would describe her as: "Engaging". I even left a comment of stating that fact. When I read her posts I highly enjoyed it.
So, when I read J.J's blog, I began to have an epiphany, my writing hasn't been improving much but most of all, it's not really engaging or fun to read, but don't get me wrong, I love what I've wrote... Most of it, that is. I'm proud of what I wrote and will continue to write. I just want to be able to connect with my readers, to be able to attract them and be able to have them engaged into what I write. Less uptight and more loose, casual and fun, yes I enjoy writing, but I want to have fun and be able to show that I do have fun while doing it.
I'll be doing some changes, I hope I'll be able to do it smoothly and turn it into a better, improving change. That's all I want.
I guess this is kinda boring, haha. Anyway, I'll try to do more Card of the Day or even Draws and Spreads. I have a hard time with those, I can speak it, can talk about it in real life, but writing it down makes my head hurt. I guess this'll be a total "Wheel of Fortune" moment for me, huh? Heh.
With love, hope and positivity
- Luna.
*[Here's her site! I highly recommend giving it a look!]
I'm not exactly changing my writing style... Just, fixing it up. I'm mostly abolishing my "uptight" kind of series and titles for my posts. I feel like I don't exactly give it a right title, and that I'm just mixing things up. From now on I'll try better to make the whole post title thing less confusing and more on point and relatable for the topic or post itself.
I actually had this revelation when perusing on accident when I was looking through another fellow Tarot Bloggers site, J.J Tarot*, I believe, her account and blog was on Wordpress, whilst mine is on Blogger. I really love her blog and what I've seen of it, simple, fun and one word I would describe her as: "Engaging". I even left a comment of stating that fact. When I read her posts I highly enjoyed it.
So, when I read J.J's blog, I began to have an epiphany, my writing hasn't been improving much but most of all, it's not really engaging or fun to read, but don't get me wrong, I love what I've wrote... Most of it, that is. I'm proud of what I wrote and will continue to write. I just want to be able to connect with my readers, to be able to attract them and be able to have them engaged into what I write. Less uptight and more loose, casual and fun, yes I enjoy writing, but I want to have fun and be able to show that I do have fun while doing it.
I'll be doing some changes, I hope I'll be able to do it smoothly and turn it into a better, improving change. That's all I want.
I guess this is kinda boring, haha. Anyway, I'll try to do more Card of the Day or even Draws and Spreads. I have a hard time with those, I can speak it, can talk about it in real life, but writing it down makes my head hurt. I guess this'll be a total "Wheel of Fortune" moment for me, huh? Heh.
With love, hope and positivity
- Luna.
*[Here's her site! I highly recommend giving it a look!]
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
2.) Luna's Card of the Day: Dreaming Way Tarot - 5 of Cups.
"I still love the people I loved,
even if I cross the street to avoid them." - Uma Thurman.
Sadly, this is the case almost everyone has, if not all of us. We experience this feeling at least once, in my opinion... And that's just sad.
I wrote in one of my other posts about it being sad, of knowing someone for so long, who've you thought you made such a deep connection, of having spent so much time and made so much memories with this person... And one day "Poof!" it's gone.
It would be different if the connection, the friendship, died a natural death. Time spent far apart, personalities changing, connection not being as strong as before, people growing up and moving away from who they were before. Things change, people change but the memories are still there.
Sometimes you just simply drift apart, you try and try to get together, you say you would, you try to plan it out, but "oh no, something happened, can I take a rain check? I promise, we'll meet up another time soon." "Something came up, I have to cancel today." "I'm so sorry, I can't make it today!"
Soon enough, calls are left unanswered, emails, IMs, PMs and texts are ignored, forgotten. Then no one makes any effort anymore, because the other one didn't, because the other one didn't. It's a cycle that didn't need to start, miscommunication starts to set in and you start drifting apart, start not knowing each other.
The person you used to talk to everyday, becomes someone you only talk to like an acquaintance. The person who you used to go to for nearly everything, who you told all the little to big things that happened in your life or anything that happened to you from day to day... You don't even think about calling them, or if you do, you just stare at the screen of your phone, your PC, and you either feel a bitterness of them not keeping contact, feel guilty for contributing to the fact you don't talk anymore or you just sigh and let the longing set in.
I chose this card because of the feeling of lost, of abandonment, of the feeling of having someone turn their backs on you... Or you to them.
I want you to look at this card, two women, one we can see clearly, facing us, the other with their backs turned to both us and the first woman. The first woman is holding 2 cups in her hands, her arms laying limply to her sides as she closes her eyes gently, the second woman has her back turned to us, we can't see her, but we can see her throwing away her 3 cups, or maybe they accidentally fell from her hands? Who knows.
From what I see from this scene above, I see a scene of two perceptions. Both sides of the story, if you will. I find it funny, of how well it co-relates to this topic. Person 1 holds onto her cups, as she closes her eyes, maybe she's trying to relive out her memories with Person 2, of all the times they shared, of the happiness and fond memories they made together, maybe on one side, she feels a tiny bit resentful, bitter, that in her mind, her friend has abandoned her, that Person 2 could have at least put a little more effort, damn it! But.... On the other hand, it looks like she is in peace, maybe she has come to terms and has accepted what has happened, she has her memories, she knows she can't dwell on those old times together, but she knows she can at least think back fondly, going back to simpler times, of being able to enjoy her time with her old friend, even just a little bit.
On the other hand, we have Person 2, they look like their carelessly throwing away Person 1's friendship, of their friendship. Years upon years of being together, of sharing laughs, of crying together, of knowing each other, from their good to their bad, to their highs and to their lows... And this Person 2 just let those times fade away, just let the Cups of their memories, drain and dissipate. "Person 2 is such a jerk! Person 2 is so selfish! They don't care at all!" You would think but then again... Maybe you were Person 2, at one point in your life.
Maybe in school, you went from the cliche geek or nerd, with the braces, skinny, awkward body, or the fat, bulky stature, and you finally filled out, you finally got thinner, you lost the braces and your interests turned to the mainstream that all the other people your age liked. People started noticing you that didn't before, you liked it, you really liked it, or maybe, you just grew up, grew away from what you and Person 1 used to do and used to like doing together, maybe you moved away, maybe you got too busy with things you liked, extracurricular activities, club responsibilities, school things and maybe even new friends. Maybe, maybe you even placed those new friends first than Person 1, she would understand, right? I've gotten so busy, it's not my fault.... I promised the others I'd go to the movies with them, to head out to that new restaurant... Oops, I forgot I promised Person 1 we'd go out on that day.... I guess I can just cancel on her, I mean, it'd just be us, while there would be more of us with the others. She'll understand.
But the thing is... She won't after a while. People have limits.
You just got busy. That's your excuse, whether it be bad or just normal, who's to say? But the thing is... Person 2 just lost the effort. Or maybe it was Person 1 that lost it first? Or Person 2? Or maybe it was Person 1? Who knows? When communication is lost... You never know.
Are you Person 1.. Or are you Person 2?
Are you willing to let that person go... That person who held your secrets, who've seen you at your lowest, who loved you no matter what, who told you and proved to you to call them whenever and wherever, and they'd be there for you... Are you willing to let that person go?
That best friend you knew....
Would one day be a stranger.
With love, hope and positive energies
- Luna
(Sorry for such a sad post.)
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Luna's Card of the Day. (A poem by Luna Oracle.) "Monsters Inside Us."
"Children fear Monsters.
Monsters with their sharp claws out to get your ankles, wanting to drag you down under the bottom of your bed, so you rush and jump onto your bed in fright.
Monsters inside your closet, watching you as you cower in fear, shivering and hiding beneath your safety blanket, you can just feel their glowing, yellow eyes piercing you,
Monsters waiting outside your house, their claws scratching against your windows, wanting to get in, you can just imagine their creepy, bloody teeth grinning down at you outside the windows."
"Adults don't fear the monsters under their bed, inside their closet, or outside their windows.
Children grew up, and their monsters have, as well.
Adults fear monsters.
Adults fear the monsters inside their mind, the ones that claw at their psyche, cackling in glee as they shred your mentality, casting doubt and insanity.
Adults fear monsters inside their hearts, their harsh whispers spreading lies and sprouting doubt from deep within, causing you deep insecurity.
Adults fear monsters inside their mirrors, their twisted grins, their pointing fingers, their hateful words, their sharp, harsh laughter resounding as their desire to bring you down becomes stronger. Their words getting louder and louder, their smiles twisting and morphing into something beyond this world as their voices start to shriek to the heavens.
"You're too fat, just like a COW!"
"You're too thin, do you even eat? Anorexic."
"You're too stupid, you fail every test! Retard!"
"You can't even lift or run properly, weakass."
"You're doomed, you'll never accomplish anything in life."
"You're too useless, you'll never become anyone important."
"You're too ugly to find anyone, you'll die ALONE."
"No one will ever love you."
Adults don't fear monsters like children do.
Adults fear something far worse...
They fear themselves.
They became the monsters they feared."
Friday, May 15, 2015
6.) Luna's Card Quotes - Fenestra: 6 of Cups.
"One day, you'll just be a memory to some people.
Do your best to be a good one."
"It's funny how day by day, nothing changes.
But when you look back,
everything is different."
3.) Luna's Reflections - LoTD: 5 of Wands.
Today I chose the 5 of Wands from the Legacy of the Divine Tarot, a little backstory to this, I would normally choose the Rider Waite depiction and art, unless I was truly moved by a card from a certain deck or I was using said deck at a particular time.* But for this third post of this series, I found that the normal Rider Waite interpretation didn't show or depict enough of the feelings I've felt recently and that I've connected and resonated with the 5 of Wands, so as I went photo hunting around Google, I looked and looked and looked, I couldn't find a perfect 5 of Wands at all, all I got was the regular Rider Waite cards, but finally, I was able to find the right card that shown the feelings I wanted to convey: The Legacy of the Divine's 5 of Wands. Such a beauty by Ciro Marchetti.
Anyway, I'm getting side tracked here, I digress.
Keywords to explain this card would be: Conflict/battle, normally internally and with yourself, but it can also pertain to competitions with others, having a habit of arguing with people or simply disagreement and your own passions within yourself not agreeing with each other.
Let me explain how I feel about this card, this card explains so deeply to how I felt this week, an irrational build up of emotions, red hot, fiery burst of anger and impatience, a feeling of wanting to argue and fight with someone to let off some steam.
You know how you have this ONE horrible, bad luck, no good, not nice and horribly unlucky, damned stupid day? Yeah, I had one this week. Just bad thing, after bad thing, it was only minor annoyances, to be honest, but I just had such a low tolerance of patience that day, I believe I could even feel (in this case; remember) my patience slowly thinning out and stretching till I was ready to about snap.
You know that feeling, your eyelid and the skin under your eye and between your cheek, it's twitching just a bit, you're clenching your jaw a tiny bit, you have to breath in deeply, counting down from 10 or counting up to 10, just so you can focus on something other than you're mounting frustration and anger. You can feel your heart beating a little louder, a little faster, you can't help but talk yourself out of your anger like "Oh, it's nothing, just be a bit more patient, no need to blow up on anyone and embarrass yourself, right? Just calm down, take a deep breath, smile, don't look like you're pissed off and wanting to chew someone's head off, come on, damn it, SMILE. Damn it, calm the fuck down! You're probably getting red in the face. Oh god, people can probably feel the tension and frustration welling up inside you!" Ugh. And the thing is, the people around you are just pissing you off more and more by the minute. From morning till the end of the day, it's the little annoyances that get to you, they pile up and up and up... And then you're this close to demanding (politely, damn you.) for whoever was in charge so you can talk to them and complain your problem, but noooooooo you have to be patient some more, because you need to be polite and responsible and you, as an naturally anxious person, don't want to remember this day as the day you blew up and embarrassed yourself in your local store and demanded to see their manager, whilst thinking you had a damn good excuse to ask for them and complain, so you wait some more, observing the situation and the people that are pissing you the hell off, you observe them and scrutinize them and dissect them, you're an anxious person, you can do this, you always do this for the most useless or mundane reasons, anyway! So you observe, on the pretense of "waiting out things to come into your favor and just be patience, please." but really, you're just finding a good reason that's solid enough so you can complain and be on the victory side of things, you'll have the damn good satisfaction of a done good job, releasing your tension and your annoyance and your frustration.
That is, if you find a good reason to complain, if you don't and you do explode on them, that's when you, in 10 years time or 30, remember that day and cringe at how embarrassing that memory was and that's when the thoughts will continue on, the horrible, anxiety-filled thoughts, and it will continue on for the next few minutes or the whole day, until you forget about it again.
Now, that I've released some of my own tension through my writing and I've explained the little backstory to this card and how I resonate with it through that story, I will now continue on how I really feel in co-relation to this card.
The internal struggle of fighting with yourself, arguing and fighting with yourself internally, see how these 5 people in the card are fighting among themselves, but the thing is, they're basically of the same being, they grow within the same "root", they grow together, they're supposed to be in harmony with each other, because if you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone(s) then you got to at least enjoy being with each other, but they're fighting, they look so angry and frustrated and they look just about fed up to start hitting each other like grown up children.
Anger is common with us all, we all get frustrated, we all get ticked off with someone or something, we all experience a blinding, red-filled, frustratingly heated rage within ourselves. Our blood is pumping, we're clenching our fists, our head is getting filled with hot seething red rage. Our first reaction is to scream at someone for the smallest mistake, we're tense, someone cuts in front of us and we have the immediate response to call them out on it. When someone is being rude, or has a rude tone to their voice, we have the immediate response to be rude right back at them, escalating the situation till you and that person are in a screaming match, or much worse, you're the only one screaming, and that's just embarrassing. Don't be that person. Don't EVER be that person, as much as you can try it. I know a few people like that and I feel embarrassed for them, because this is just a sad thing to do, if you do it just for the hell of it. Screaming your point doesn't make it right.
This is the reason why I keep a tight hold of my conflict wanting, tense filled self.
I'm not normally so, what's the word? Confrontational, yes, that's the word. I'm not normally so confrontational, I hate conflict normally and I detest arguments of any kind unless both people know it's in jest and taken not seriously or heatedly. But alas, there are days when your patience has run unbearably thin and your head and face are quick to heat up and redden. These are the days when it's the hardest to argue with yourself to not argue and confront others, just to let off some steam.
This ^ up here, is how I relate things to the 5 of Wands. There's quite a bit of cursing, my apologies, I've been getting in tune with my fiery, Wands, side recently. Need to chill out with my Cups. ;)
I wonder how you guys think of this? Hope to hear from you!
With love, hope and positive energies
- Luna.
*1 [though, more often than not, that would be more used in my "Card Quotes" series, not the "Reflections" one.]
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Random Post: Procrastination sucks.
I really need to get back into the swing of things, not being able to write is killing me... But procrastination, procrastination~!
Though, I do have the ideas, so many, so many ideas, 5 of Wands, 7 of Cups, Star, Death, 3 of Pentacles, 4 of Cups. I have the outline of those ideas, my opinions on them, what I think of them and how I feel, but damn it all! I can't put words to paper and I don't always get the energy to do it, either.
This post will mark me starting to write something for right about:... NOW!
Though, I do have the ideas, so many, so many ideas, 5 of Wands, 7 of Cups, Star, Death, 3 of Pentacles, 4 of Cups. I have the outline of those ideas, my opinions on them, what I think of them and how I feel, but damn it all! I can't put words to paper and I don't always get the energy to do it, either.
This post will mark me starting to write something for right about:... NOW!
Friday, May 8, 2015
Luna's Card of the Day: Steampunk - Death.
Death is about transformation, something must end before something else must begin, kind of thing.
Normally people get scared of the Death card, logically speaking they have every right to, if that is the first time they've gotten a reading.
Death is an interesting card, it can neither be good or bad nor can it just be simply neutral. This card is just... It is what it is.
If you are in an unhealthy relationship, this card is a blessing in disguise. It means it is time to move on, but if it appears whilst you're in a good situation in life, maybe it came up for your job, sure, the pay is good, you have some benefits, but maybe it's time for a change, it has become too monotonous and routine. You find this job as more as a chore than anything. Now, if you were religious, this would be a certain sign of "Something better has been planned for you" type of thing.
Anyway, enough of that part of my rambling, time for my opinion on the matter.
As I first stared into this card, I got a flash of a scene. I've always found this certain Death card's interpretation kind of interesting, you can see such sadness within Death's face, maybe she has regret over taking the Man's loved one? Does that mean Death has feelings? That's very much human, don't you think?
As much as Death is interlocked with mortality and humans, why would Death look so forlorn and regretful? Those were my thoughts as I first stared at this card.
The scene in the back of my eyelids flickered, bit by bit, I saw the Man giving a small smile, laying his roses upon the tombstone as he visited his lost love, paying his respects and "catching up" with her about how his life was going. Wishing she was still with him. I digress.
I began to think, what if this Death, this woman, was the same one under that tombstone? She would come to visit him, one last time, as she looked on towards him as he smiled his soft smile, that smile she always remembered that he directed towards her just as if it were yesterday... But the thing is, it was time for her to move on.
I know this is sketchy at best, shaky and unstable ground for a story, but I donno, food for thought? I don't know, this card seemed so interconnected with the traditional 8 of Cups. Turning your back to something you love, knowing you need to move on for your own good. I should do a card comparison one day of that... Hm.
Anywho! As for her holding onto the Scythe and her dark angel wings, I don't know.. I feel like the dark wings could symbolize her sadness, but the fact that her wings are outstretched, as if she were about to take flight, could mean that no matter how melancholy and remorseful she was, she still needed to move on, both spiritually (emotionally and thru her wings) and physically (grounded and firmly decided, as she sat upon her horse.) Her Scythe, as she grips onto it, if you would look closer, she is holding both hands tightly onto the shaft of the Scythe, yet she sat steadily and firmly on her companion, deadset in her resolution, even if it broke her heart as each clop of the strong horse's hooves stomped onto the ground, away from her beloved. As she held onto the blade, it is her symbol of cutting things off, of killing it and ending the situation.
I wish I could explain this more intelligently and clearly, but honestly, with how long I've been gone from my writing, I'm just happy to be writing ANYTHING. I know I should be more meticulous and be a perfectionist, but I guess I'm not completely a perfectionist. I'm happy with what I have and what I write, sure, I'll be a bit embarrassed by what I just wrote, but it's who I am and it's mine.. All mine. I still have time to live and let learned.
With love, hope and positive energies
Anywho! As for her holding onto the Scythe and her dark angel wings, I don't know.. I feel like the dark wings could symbolize her sadness, but the fact that her wings are outstretched, as if she were about to take flight, could mean that no matter how melancholy and remorseful she was, she still needed to move on, both spiritually (emotionally and thru her wings) and physically (grounded and firmly decided, as she sat upon her horse.) Her Scythe, as she grips onto it, if you would look closer, she is holding both hands tightly onto the shaft of the Scythe, yet she sat steadily and firmly on her companion, deadset in her resolution, even if it broke her heart as each clop of the strong horse's hooves stomped onto the ground, away from her beloved. As she held onto the blade, it is her symbol of cutting things off, of killing it and ending the situation.
I wish I could explain this more intelligently and clearly, but honestly, with how long I've been gone from my writing, I'm just happy to be writing ANYTHING. I know I should be more meticulous and be a perfectionist, but I guess I'm not completely a perfectionist. I'm happy with what I have and what I write, sure, I'll be a bit embarrassed by what I just wrote, but it's who I am and it's mine.. All mine. I still have time to live and let learned.
With love, hope and positive energies
- Luna.
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