"I still love the people I loved,
even if I cross the street to avoid them." - Uma Thurman.
Sadly, this is the case almost everyone has, if not all of us. We experience this feeling at least once, in my opinion... And that's just sad.
I wrote in one of my other posts about it being sad, of knowing someone for so long, who've you thought you made such a deep connection, of having spent so much time and made so much memories with this person... And one day "Poof!" it's gone.
It would be different if the connection, the friendship, died a natural death. Time spent far apart, personalities changing, connection not being as strong as before, people growing up and moving away from who they were before. Things change, people change but the memories are still there.
Sometimes you just simply drift apart, you try and try to get together, you say you would, you try to plan it out, but "oh no, something happened, can I take a rain check? I promise, we'll meet up another time soon." "Something came up, I have to cancel today." "I'm so sorry, I can't make it today!"
Soon enough, calls are left unanswered, emails, IMs, PMs and texts are ignored, forgotten. Then no one makes any effort anymore, because the other one didn't, because the other one didn't. It's a cycle that didn't need to start, miscommunication starts to set in and you start drifting apart, start not knowing each other.
The person you used to talk to everyday, becomes someone you only talk to like an acquaintance. The person who you used to go to for nearly everything, who you told all the little to big things that happened in your life or anything that happened to you from day to day... You don't even think about calling them, or if you do, you just stare at the screen of your phone, your PC, and you either feel a bitterness of them not keeping contact, feel guilty for contributing to the fact you don't talk anymore or you just sigh and let the longing set in.
I chose this card because of the feeling of lost, of abandonment, of the feeling of having someone turn their backs on you... Or you to them.
I want you to look at this card, two women, one we can see clearly, facing us, the other with their backs turned to both us and the first woman. The first woman is holding 2 cups in her hands, her arms laying limply to her sides as she closes her eyes gently, the second woman has her back turned to us, we can't see her, but we can see her throwing away her 3 cups, or maybe they accidentally fell from her hands? Who knows.
From what I see from this scene above, I see a scene of two perceptions. Both sides of the story, if you will. I find it funny, of how well it co-relates to this topic. Person 1 holds onto her cups, as she closes her eyes, maybe she's trying to relive out her memories with Person 2, of all the times they shared, of the happiness and fond memories they made together, maybe on one side, she feels a tiny bit resentful, bitter, that in her mind, her friend has abandoned her, that Person 2 could have at least put a little more effort, damn it! But.... On the other hand, it looks like she is in peace, maybe she has come to terms and has accepted what has happened, she has her memories, she knows she can't dwell on those old times together, but she knows she can at least think back fondly, going back to simpler times, of being able to enjoy her time with her old friend, even just a little bit.
On the other hand, we have Person 2, they look like their carelessly throwing away Person 1's friendship, of their friendship. Years upon years of being together, of sharing laughs, of crying together, of knowing each other, from their good to their bad, to their highs and to their lows... And this Person 2 just let those times fade away, just let the Cups of their memories, drain and dissipate. "Person 2 is such a jerk! Person 2 is so selfish! They don't care at all!" You would think but then again... Maybe you were Person 2, at one point in your life.
Maybe in school, you went from the cliche geek or nerd, with the braces, skinny, awkward body, or the fat, bulky stature, and you finally filled out, you finally got thinner, you lost the braces and your interests turned to the mainstream that all the other people your age liked. People started noticing you that didn't before, you liked it, you really liked it, or maybe, you just grew up, grew away from what you and Person 1 used to do and used to like doing together, maybe you moved away, maybe you got too busy with things you liked, extracurricular activities, club responsibilities, school things and maybe even new friends. Maybe, maybe you even placed those new friends first than Person 1, she would understand, right? I've gotten so busy, it's not my fault.... I promised the others I'd go to the movies with them, to head out to that new restaurant... Oops, I forgot I promised Person 1 we'd go out on that day.... I guess I can just cancel on her, I mean, it'd just be us, while there would be more of us with the others. She'll understand.
But the thing is... She won't after a while. People have limits.
You just got busy. That's your excuse, whether it be bad or just normal, who's to say? But the thing is... Person 2 just lost the effort. Or maybe it was Person 1 that lost it first? Or Person 2? Or maybe it was Person 1? Who knows? When communication is lost... You never know.
Are you Person 1.. Or are you Person 2?
Are you willing to let that person go... That person who held your secrets, who've seen you at your lowest, who loved you no matter what, who told you and proved to you to call them whenever and wherever, and they'd be there for you... Are you willing to let that person go?
That best friend you knew....
Would one day be a stranger.
With love, hope and positive energies
- Luna
(Sorry for such a sad post.)
