Luna's Card of the Day. (A poem by Luna Oracle.) "Monsters Inside Us."

"Children fear Monsters.
Monsters with their sharp claws out to get your ankles, wanting to drag you down under the bottom of your bed, so you rush and jump onto your bed in fright.

Monsters inside your closet, watching you as you cower in fear, shivering and hiding beneath your safety blanket, you can just feel their glowing, yellow eyes piercing you,

Monsters waiting outside your house, their claws scratching against your windows, wanting to get in, you can just imagine their creepy, bloody teeth grinning down at you outside the windows."

"Adults don't fear the monsters under their bed, inside their closet, or outside their windows.
Children grew up, and their monsters have, as well.

Adults fear monsters.
Adults fear the monsters inside their mind, the ones that claw at their psyche, cackling in glee as they shred your mentality, casting doubt and insanity.

Adults fear monsters inside their hearts, their harsh whispers spreading lies and sprouting doubt from deep within, causing you deep insecurity.

Adults fear monsters inside their mirrors, their twisted grins, their pointing fingers, their hateful words, their sharp, harsh laughter resounding as their desire to bring you down becomes stronger. Their words getting louder and louder, their smiles twisting and morphing into something beyond this world as their voices start to shriek to the heavens.

"You're too fat, just like a COW!"
"You're too thin, do you even eat? Anorexic."
"You're too stupid, you fail every test! Retard!"
"You can't even lift or run properly, weakass."
"You're doomed, you'll never accomplish anything in life."
"You're too useless, you'll never become anyone important."
"You're too ugly to find anyone, you'll die ALONE."
"No one will ever love you."

Adults don't fear monsters like children do.
Adults fear something far worse...
They fear themselves.
They became the monsters they feared."

6.) Luna's Card Quotes - Fenestra: 6 of Cups.

"One day, you'll just be a memory to some people.
Do your best to be a good one."

"It's funny how day by day, nothing changes.
But when you look back,
everything is different."

3.) Luna's Reflections - LoTD: 5 of Wands.

Today I chose the 5 of Wands from the Legacy of the Divine Tarot, a little backstory to this, I would normally choose the Rider Waite depiction and art, unless I was truly moved by a card from a certain deck or I was using said deck at a particular time.* But for this third post of this series, I found that the normal Rider Waite interpretation didn't show or depict enough of the feelings I've felt recently and that I've connected and resonated with the 5 of Wands, so as I went photo hunting around Google, I looked and looked and looked, I couldn't find a perfect 5 of Wands at all, all I got was the regular Rider Waite cards, but finally, I was able to find the right card that shown the feelings I wanted to convey: The Legacy of the Divine's 5 of Wands. Such a beauty by Ciro Marchetti.

Anyway, I'm getting side tracked here, I digress.

Keywords to explain this card would be: Conflict/battle, normally internally and with yourself, but it can also pertain to competitions with others, having a habit of arguing with people or simply disagreement and your own passions within yourself not agreeing with each other.

Let me explain how I feel about this card, this card explains so deeply to how I felt this week, an irrational build up of emotions, red hot, fiery burst of anger and impatience, a feeling of wanting to argue and fight with someone to let off some steam.
You know how you have this ONE horrible, bad luck, no good, not nice and horribly unlucky, damned stupid day? Yeah, I had one this week. Just bad thing, after bad thing, it was only minor annoyances, to be honest, but I just had such a low tolerance of patience that day, I believe I could even feel (in this case; remember) my patience slowly thinning out and stretching till I was ready to about snap.

You know that feeling, your eyelid and the skin under your eye and between your cheek, it's twitching just a bit, you're clenching your jaw a tiny bit, you have to breath in deeply, counting down from 10 or counting up to 10, just so you can focus on something other than you're mounting frustration and anger. You can feel your heart beating a little louder, a little faster, you can't help but talk yourself out of your anger like "Oh, it's nothing, just be a bit more patient, no need to blow up on anyone and embarrass yourself, right? Just calm down, take a deep breath, smile, don't look like you're pissed off and wanting to chew someone's head off, come on, damn it, SMILE. Damn it, calm the fuck down! You're probably getting red in the face. Oh god, people can probably feel the tension and frustration welling up inside you!" Ugh. And the thing is, the people around you are just pissing you off more and more by the minute. From morning till the end of the day, it's the little annoyances that get to you, they pile up and up and up... And then you're this close to demanding (politely, damn you.) for whoever was in charge so you can talk to them and complain your problem, but noooooooo you have to be patient some more, because you need to be polite and responsible and you, as an naturally anxious person, don't want to remember this day as the day you blew up and embarrassed yourself in your local store and demanded to see their manager, whilst thinking you had a damn good excuse to ask for them and complain, so you wait some more, observing the situation and the people that are pissing you the hell off, you observe them and scrutinize them and dissect them, you're an anxious person, you can do this, you always do this for the most useless or mundane reasons, anyway! So you observe, on the pretense of "waiting out things to come into your favor and just be patience, please." but really, you're just finding a good reason that's solid enough so you can complain and be on the victory side of things, you'll have the damn good satisfaction of a done good job, releasing your tension and your annoyance and your frustration.
That is, if you find a good reason to complain, if you don't and you do explode on them, that's when you, in 10 years time or 30, remember that day and cringe at how embarrassing that memory was and that's when the thoughts will continue on, the horrible, anxiety-filled thoughts, and it will continue on for the next few minutes or the whole day, until you forget about it again.

Now, that I've released some of my own tension through my writing and I've explained the little backstory to this card and how I resonate with it through that story, I will now continue on how I really feel in co-relation to this card.
The internal struggle of fighting with yourself, arguing and fighting with yourself internally, see how these 5 people in the card are fighting among themselves, but the thing is, they're basically of the same being, they grow within the same "root", they grow together, they're supposed to be in harmony with each other, because if you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone(s) then you got to at least enjoy being with each other, but they're fighting, they look so angry and frustrated and they look just about fed up to start hitting each other like grown up children.

Anger is common with us all, we all get frustrated, we all get ticked off with someone or something, we all experience a blinding, red-filled, frustratingly heated rage within ourselves. Our blood is pumping, we're clenching our fists, our head is getting filled with hot seething red rage. Our first reaction is to scream at someone for the smallest mistake, we're tense, someone cuts in front of us and we have the immediate response to call them out on it. When someone is being rude, or has a rude tone to their voice, we have the immediate response to be rude right back at them, escalating the situation till you and that person are in a screaming match, or much worse, you're the only one screaming, and that's just embarrassing. Don't be that person. Don't EVER be that person, as much as you can try it. I know a few people like that and I feel embarrassed for them, because this is just a sad thing to do, if you do it just for the hell of it. Screaming your point doesn't make it right.
This is the reason why I keep a tight hold of my conflict wanting, tense filled self.
I'm not normally so, what's the word? Confrontational, yes, that's the word. I'm not normally so confrontational, I hate conflict normally and I detest arguments of any kind unless both people know it's in jest and taken not seriously or heatedly. But alas, there are days when your patience has run unbearably thin and your head and face are quick to heat up and redden. These are the days when it's the hardest to argue with yourself to not argue and confront others, just to let off some steam.

This ^ up here, is how I relate things to the 5 of Wands. There's quite a bit of cursing, my apologies, I've been getting in tune with my fiery, Wands, side recently. Need to chill out with my Cups. ;)
I wonder how you guys think of this? Hope to hear from you!


With love, hope and positive energies

- Luna.


*1 [though, more often than not, that would be more used in my "Card Quotes" series, not the "Reflections" one.]

Random Post: Procrastination sucks.

I really need to get back into the swing of things, not being able to write is killing me... But procrastination, procrastination~!
Though, I do have the ideas, so many, so many ideas, 5 of Wands, 7 of Cups, Star, Death, 3 of Pentacles, 4 of Cups. I have the outline of those ideas, my opinions on them, what I think of them and how I feel, but damn it all! I can't put words to paper and I don't always get the energy to do it, either.

This post will mark me starting to write something for right about:... NOW!

Luna's Card of the Day: Steampunk - Death.

Death is about transformation, something must end before something else must begin, kind of thing.

Normally people get scared of the Death card, logically speaking they have every right to, if that is the first time they've gotten a reading.

Death is an interesting card, it can neither be good or bad nor can it just be simply neutral. This card is just... It is what it is.

If you are in an unhealthy relationship, this card is a blessing in disguise. It means it is time to move on, but if it appears whilst you're in a good situation in life, maybe it came up for your job, sure, the pay is good, you have some benefits, but maybe it's time for a change, it has become too monotonous and  routine. You find this job as more as a chore than anything. Now, if you were religious, this would be a certain sign of "Something better has been planned for you" type of thing.

Anyway, enough of that part of my rambling, time for my opinion on the matter.

As I first stared into this card, I got a flash of a scene. I've always found this certain Death card's interpretation kind of interesting, you can see such sadness within Death's face, maybe she has regret over taking the Man's loved one? Does that mean Death has feelings? That's very much human, don't you think?

As much as Death is interlocked with mortality and humans, why would Death look so forlorn and regretful? Those were my thoughts as I first stared at this card.

The scene in the back of my eyelids flickered, bit by bit, I saw the Man giving a small smile, laying his roses upon the tombstone as he visited his lost love, paying his respects and "catching up" with her about how his life was going. Wishing she was still with him. I digress.

I began to think, what if this Death, this woman, was the same one under that tombstone? She would come to visit him, one last time, as she looked on towards him as he smiled his soft smile, that smile she always remembered that he directed towards her just as if it were yesterday... But the thing is, it was time for her to move on.

I know this is sketchy at best, shaky and unstable ground for a story, but I donno, food for thought? I don't know, this card seemed so interconnected with the traditional 8 of Cups. Turning your back to something you love, knowing you need to move on for your own good. I should do a card comparison one day of that... Hm.

Anywho! As for her holding onto the Scythe and her dark angel wings, I don't know.. I feel like the dark wings could symbolize her sadness, but the fact that her wings are outstretched, as if she were about to take flight, could mean that no matter how melancholy and remorseful she was, she still needed to move on, both spiritually (emotionally and thru her wings) and physically (grounded and firmly decided, as she sat upon her horse.) Her Scythe, as she grips onto it, if you would look closer, she is holding both hands tightly onto the shaft of the Scythe, yet she sat steadily and firmly on her companion, deadset in her resolution, even if it broke her heart as each clop of the strong horse's hooves stomped onto the ground, away from her beloved. As she held onto the blade, it is her symbol of cutting things off, of killing it and ending the situation.
I wish I could explain this more intelligently and clearly, but honestly, with how long I've been gone from my writing, I'm just happy to be writing ANYTHING. I know I should be more meticulous and be a perfectionist, but I guess I'm not completely a perfectionist. I'm happy with what I have and what I write, sure, I'll be a bit embarrassed by what I just wrote, but it's who I am and it's mine.. All mine. I still have time to live and let learned.


With love, hope and positive energies

- Luna.

4.) Luna's Quotes.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm just screaming at the wind... Hoping someone would hear me."

Random Update - Where are the Deck Reviews?!

Okay darlings, I'm a horrible person. I have not at all wrote or reviewed any of the new goodies I've bought recently. I've been on a buying spree lately. I've bought 2 Oracle decks and 2 Tarot decks in 1 month. (That's a LOT on a student's budget.) and I've pre-ordered and am having a shipment of 6 decks coming in, 7 if my Tarot of Sweet Twilight can come in, for some reason the store I order from  has a problem with ordering decks that are older than 3-4 years. Since Tarot of Sweet Twilight is 6 years (it was released in '09) I'm keeping my fingers crossed to have it in a month or 2.... 3. If not, I can only order it from Amazon and it costs extra to order it instead of ordering it from the publisher itself from the store I order decks from.
If I can't get my Sweet Twilight from my local store, I'll have to go on to order online and order it myself, not through the bookstore. 

Pro: I'll get it in a week or so, along with some other decks I can't order from my local store like; Dream Enchantress Tarot, Tarot of Mermaids, Manara Tarot (Yes, I find that an interesting deck!) Tarot of Sexual Magic (Yes, that too.) Tarot of New Visions, Dark Angel Tarot and Universal Fantasy.

Con: It will tempt me to get more than just Sweet Twilight, since the shipping is gonna be killer anyway, might as well add more decks to make the shipping worth it. Which means I need more money to shell out as well as the shipping! Ughhhh. :C
Not only that, the whole process is complicated. Don't ask.
Living in Asia is hard when all the good decks are half way across the world. Sigh.

For now, the Cons outweigh the Pros. I just need to be patient and enjoy the decks I already have (not to mention I need to do some sewing, I have nowhere to place or fit my precious little babies in!)

So anyway, as much as I would love to give reviews on my decks, it's not gonna happen any time soon. This week's been really hectic and I've had a serious mental block. For the most part, I'm just thankful I can write a bit on this blog, I love writing and it's always been so therapeutic for me to voice out my thoughts through words like this. Tarot has helped me so much to be able to express myself and I'm super happy about that.
I promise, as soon as I get a good enough quality camera, worked with my decks enough and have had the time, I'll get to those reviews! Heavens about knows one of the reasons I even started blogging was because I'd love to write up reviews  for my decks. Help out others who would want those decks and are probably on the fence about it.
That's all for today, I guess. Gonna write up my blog of the day now. Hopefully I can before this day ends, my head's all dizzy. Need more sleep, even if I've already had a full 6 hours of sleep. Meh.

With love, hope and positive energies

- Luna

Luna's Card(s) of the Day - RWS

This'll be short today but I was just messing around with my deck, shuffling and stuff and I decided I'd take a few cards out, I got 6 of Cups with the Shadow (bottom card.) being 8 of Swords. I didn't really delve deep in that set of cards so I just kept shuffling and went back to pick another card after shuffling it around in my hands.
Then I get this, Magician and 7 of Cups. I had to laugh when I got these cards and said to myself "I need to post this!"

The Magician is a man who has the resources, the skill and the experience to do the job, combine that with the 7 of Cups and it is blatantly saying, I may have all that, but I'm having too many ideas up in my head, having too many thoughts and ideas, but never really making it into a reality. It's within my reach, yet still so far.

I want a lot of things in life, especially for my writing, but I still can't get it done the way I want it. It's ironic. Heh.

That's basically it, it's not really long or delving too deep but I just had to share this and I don't feel all that well today, been so busy and doing so many things for so many people, I WANT TO SLEEP! Boohoohoo!

Anyway!

With love, hope and positive energies

- Luna. 

5.) Luna's Card Quotes - Mystical Cats: Lovers.

"I want to sleep with you.

I don't mean have sex.

I mean sleep. Together.

Under my blankets. In my bed.

With my hand on your chest

and your arms around me.

With the window cracked

so it's chilly

and we have to cuddle closer.

No talking, just sleepy,

blissfully happy silence." - Unknown.*

[To me. I know, I know, it's a common quote around the net, but when I saw this cute little scene, I couldn't help myself!]

4.) Luna's Card Quotes - Hanson Roberts: Star.

"Never stop believing in hope,
because miracles happen everyday."

I know people have a lot of problems with sayings like, either for their religious beliefs or their personal opinions. I have a sort of indifference to "Miracles" but I do believe in hope.

Someone in my life helped me gain my hope. My hope for a future for myself, hope for the dreams I have, hope for the good in people.

Even though I don't trust a lot of people, I do know and hope for people to learn and improve themselves. Sometimes, it's nice to hope, sometimes, it's bad.

But having hope is never bad, don't ever let anyone take that away from you. 

Just learn to differentiate from having hope, to just holding onto something that is hurting you. Have strength, darlings.

Positivity and hope come hand in hand. I mean, you can't exactly be negative and be hopeful, right? Haha! It's why I keep those two words in my farewells. It's my two favorite words and feelings, sometimes it's hard to have those, so I have learned to hold them close to me, to cherish them.

Never let anyone crush your hope, they don't have the control, you do. Never stop believing in hope, for sometimes, that's all you have.

2.) Luna's Reflections - RWS: 2 of Cups

In Tarot, the 2 of Cups, is a card of Connection and Union between two people.

It could be business, friendship or even romantic. This card is usually a card signifying two people in harmony together, syncing up their energies and also a deep connection... Or a beginning one.

Today I'll be talking and delving into the Connection between people. Between friends mainly. I think.... Whatever my ramblings will head to, I guess. Moving on.

I thought about this for a while, isn't it interesting to be able to have a deep, meaningful and just insightful talk with someone? Doesn't it feel refreshing?

It's been an awful while since I've had a deep, meaningful conversation with any of my friends. Since my Hermit Phase has come, it makes it harder and harder. The deepest conversations I've had, weirdly enough, has been with myself. When I try to plan on what next to add to my... Well, the best way to call it is my "Series". I think deeply of the cards, trashing ideas, storing some ideas away and I get a topic, card or theme and make sure I have 2 or 3 fall back plans that interest me in case I get no inspiration to write or feel any grounded interest on the original idea. I currently have 3 ideas to use on this particular Series. Interestingly enough.

You know what? It's the simple pleasures in life that makes life worth living half of the time. Those small, random and sometimes even insignificance memories makes it all the more memorable.
Here's what I mean; when I was younger, I remember talking nearly every night with my best friend. She and I would just talk of the most randomest stuff. I don't even have the faintest idea as to what it was. It's been so long ago, we were so young. I remember us even color coordinating our clothes for the next day so we could match or even look good. Blue for me, Yellow for her. I remember that.
Thinking about that makes me wish and yearn to re-live my childhood again, just for a bit. To remember and feel those emotions I had, it makes me chuckle at how clueless and obnoxious I was as a child. Embarrassing but still kind of funny. Heh.

Anyway, back on point!
I've been thinking lately on the subject of deep conversations. It's been so few and far in between since the last time I've had any sort of deep conversation with anyone, it's quite sad, really. You never know how refreshing and exhilarating it is. For me, it's the connection, the feelings way deep inside that connects us. In my own description of it, it feels like being on the same page, reading the same book and synchronizing so much, you're reading it word for word, sentence for sentence. You can't help but smile and just nod enthusiastically and say "Yes! Yes! That's it! That's exactly it!" and afterwards, you can't help but smile more and think of your conversation. It keeps popping up in your mind for a long time to come.

I think it's even more amazing to bond over that type of connection with a near complete stranger.
I'm young, not even a full grown adult to some people, but I'm not also a child. Funny, how that works.
My interests are few and far in between, I'm the 4 of Cups most of the time when it concerns my interest. Nothing holds my attention long. So when I met someone who shared my love and passion and interest in Tarot: That lived close to me, was almost the same age as me and  connected with me on a deeper level? I was like "YESSSSSSSS! FINALLY!" the thing is though, it was more than that, in a way. Emotionally, we were on fairly stable ground. We had a lot in common in that sense. I could interpret my friend's feelings as if they were my own, in the sense I understood my friend's plights and problems and their feelings behind their actions and as to why they felt like that. It was very eerie to be able to do, I feel.

After a short time of knowing each other, we would meet regularly and it felt like we knew each other faaaaar longer than we did. It was amazing, to have a friend like that. We had numerous deep conversations about Tarot, we did readings and we interpreted it together, when we wanted advice or another Reader's opinion, we went to each other. We studied the cards together and we learned together. Tarot was what brought us together and I guess, in a way, Tarot is what connected us to this day, not that it's a bad thing. Even without Tarot, I would still be there, I would still be their friend, no matter what. I would still care for them deeply.
So many late night chats, so many sessions where we would just squealed and gushed over Tarot... But alas, the excitement wore off, the anticipation went away and we came away with a routine.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my friend. I really do and I care for them deeply. I just knew it was too good to last for long and I accept it. Sometimes it happens and it's okay. It happens in relationships all the time, Romantic or otherwise. The thing is, to always be open to each other and make the effort to keep strong together. To make time for each other, to help each other, to be there to lean on when the other person needs it. To trust and care for each other.

Every relationship is a two-way street. Remember that.
We give because we care, we take not to simply take. We give not to simply give, but because we want to. We take because we know it's that other person's way of showing they care.

Every relationship is unique and special. A relationship, friendship, is like a garden filled with flowers and plants, you have different kinds of flowers and plants in your garden. Each representing a relationship or friendship, they all look so different, but you care for them the same, maybe some more than others, but the care is still there. Sometimes you need to water them only a few times, their care only a bare minimum, some others need more tending to and it's okay to tend to them more. Others can be just right. Sometimes it fluxes and the ones with the bare minimum need more attention, and the ones who needed so much attention before doesn't need any tending to for a while. And the others that are "just right"? They can flux between either state.
In the end, you're fine with doing all that, because you care and love each of those relationships you've tended to.
Sometimes though, you forget to tend one or two of your plants and flowers, your relationships. Sometimes it wilts away and no matter how much you tend to it now, it will still wilt and die. You will mourn, sure, but you will still move on.
Others though, there are others that are like weeds or just plain poisonous to you, sometimes you wouldn't even notice them. They can wrap around your healthy flowers and choke the life out of them and you.
Such poisonous type of people will go out of their way to suck the life out of you and you wouldn't even notice, some will be like weeds and they will go out of their way to ruin your garden. Sometimes they will succeed, but hopefully most times they will fail.
You need to learn to cut away such weeds. To be able to remove poison. And to be able to take care of your garden properly.

Each and every relationship is special, even the weeds and poisonous ones, they help you grow, to mature and to experience life better.

Relationships... Such fickle things. They can be there for a life time, but will the quality be any good? They can be temporary, but mean so much in that short time. They can be deep and meaningful or they can be carefree and easy-going. So unique and sometimes so hard to care for. Whether it's a new relationship or an old one, it's always gonna be hard. Though I have to say, there are some relationships that are just so easy to be in, to handle, it almost seems like a sin. I don't know whether there are just plain exceptions to the rule... Or it can just mean that it's only for now that there hasn't been a rough patch to cross for them. Heh.

I've written a damn long post. I hope you guys enjoy this! I've never been good at organizing my thoughts or ramblings. Haha!

This was an interesting subject to hit upon, I'll probably get back to this later to further touch upon the subject again. I've been too rambly on this.

With love, hope and positive energies

- Luna

Post Updates!

Gosh! I haven't posted anything in the past few days. So sorry! Been out of town and haven't had the proper inspiration to write anything as of late. I've had a few ideas floating around for my post "Series" and now I finally wrote one up! I'm hoping to at least post once a day, even if it's just a quote pertaining to one of the cards in the Tarot. Or even with an Oracle [will need to start working with my oracle cards to make that happen though.....]
It's so frustrating, so many ideas up in my head, yet I've neither found the inspiration to write them down, had the heart to write or even found a way out of procrastination [*cough* Laziness *cough*] to write anything down. My head has such a block to it. It's not even writers block! At least, I don't think it is... Hmm.
Tarot is just too interesting.

Anyway! That's all for this update. I don't even know if there are any people reading, but still, being able to update for anyone who reads on my blog is nice. C:

With love, hope and positive energies

- Luna.